Wednesday, September 20, 2006

Joke: Eats shoots and leaves

A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!"

The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!"

The manager opens his dictionary and sees the following definition for panda: "A tree-dwelling marsupial of Asian origin, characterised by distinct black and white colouring. Eats shoots and leaves."

18 comments:

Agent Valerie said...

Very funny.

Except a panda is not a tree-dwelling marsupial!

It is a bear, in the Uridae family.

Sarah Montgomery said...

I love this and finally understand the book title "Eats Shoots and Leaves"

Mike Ike said...

For the joke to really work, it needs to be read, with a comma placed after "Eats", so that it reads "Eats, shoots and leaves", and the dictionary described as poorly punctuated. The joke is intended to poke fun at the potentially damaging (albeit far-fetched) misinterpretation of language due to poor usage of punctuation (in this case, an inappropriate use of the comma). A book by the same title addresses the topic.

lolnone said...

>dictionary needs to be described as poorly punctuated

No, that's just saying "I'M GOING TO EXPLAIN THIS JOKE TO YOU BECAUSE ALL THE BEST JOKES NEED TO BE EXPLAINED SO PEOPLE REALIZE HOW FUNNY THEY ARE"

larin said...

No, really, the joke isn't a joke unless there's a comma after eats. Otherwise it's punctuated correctly and isn't a joke.

jordan said...

the first time somebody told me i was in a class and when she got done talking i was the only one that got this. i was sitting there laughing and everyone looked at me funny. it was and i explained it until they all started laughing

Rebecca said...

Larin is correct. The joke should read "Eats, shoots and leaves." It is supposed to point out the type/grammatical error and how it can change the entire meaning of a sentence.

Dean said...

Greetings!
personally I love the blogs like this, especially because I am a veterinarian, I adore animals, a few years ago I was in a conference called costa

rica investment
, at that conference dealt with issues very similar to this. thanks

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adamsmith said...

Massive grammatical fail.

NedkoIvanov said...

I'm seeking for explanation of the word "shoot" and I can't find it anywhere!!
Can someone explain what the word "shoot" mean except its main meaning related to firing guns?

Harry Smith said...

When a seed is planted, the first tender sprig of plant material that comes up from the germinating seed is called a "shoot." In this case, "shoot" is a noun.

skidoo rider said...

I was reading the beginning of the book "Eats shoots and leaves" and had to look up the joke because I didn't get it. Then I read this post and couldn't stop laughing!

The comments that say the joke doesn't work without the comma is even more funny, because the cover of the book has the Panda on a ladder adding the comma. Only a Panda trying to justify his crime would recognize that his crime is not justified without the comma, and to cover his tracks he had to get a ladder, climb up and add the comma to justify that fact that he eats bamboo shoots and leaves. And yes, his sandwich was a bamboo sandwich or else the joke would not work! But it wasn't necessary to say it was a bamboo sandwich, because otherwise he would not have used the gun and left without paying!

I'm totally pleased with the internet today, being able to come across a book (I was searching for a book on XML, not proper English) and find myself laughing my ass off. Thanks!

James Inderson said...

This is so funny. I really like it. Thanks for sharing.

Funny Pet LOL

Northbanker said...

Put quite simply the comma turns a phrase with a verb and two nouns into a phrase with 3 verbs

Sean said...

Punctuation matters.

Lets eat, Grandma.
Lets eat Grandma.

Nicholas said...

Let's eat, Grandma.
Let's eat Grandma.

If you are going to be picky about punctuation, you need to get it right (indeed one of the criticisms of Lynn Truss's book is that she does not get her grammar 100% right.

Fоsтея said...

Holy fuck... Either everyone is a troll or everyone needs to go back to school for grammar. There is no need for a comma. End of story. Perhaps there is need for a semicolon, but that isn't necessary.

Don't mind me. I will continue to feed 5 year-old troll comments.